


Star-Spangled Wars

by Yatterqueen



Series: #wedgiewednesday [19]
Category: Unlisted
Genre: Gen, no tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-06-01 07:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6509260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yatterqueen/pseuds/Yatterqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First <a class="discoverytag" href="http://www.deviantart.com/tag/wedgiewednesday">#wedgiewednesday</a> story of 2016! Carmilla & Kate really should have planned for a contingency because you can't take Lyra & America without a plan and especially when they get you by surprise (also, how do you counter a flying wedgie? why is carmilla's ceiling perfectly suited to a nuclear flying wedgie? how do you fight two girls stronger than you? all important questions neither girl answered before this ill-advised attempt at fun). But, well, there's always next time. </p><p> </p><p>  <a class="external" href="http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://www.poll-maker.com/poll536176x07184dC3-23"> Vote for the next story! </a></p>
    </blockquote>





	Star-Spangled Wars

**Author's Note:**

> First [#wedgiewednesday](http://www.deviantart.com/tag/wedgiewednesday) story of 2016! Carmilla & Kate really should have planned for a contingency because you can't take Lyra & America without a plan and especially when they get you by surprise (also, how do you counter a flying wedgie? why is carmilla's ceiling perfectly suited to a nuclear flying wedgie? how do you fight two girls stronger than you? all important questions neither girl answered before this ill-advised attempt at fun). But, well, there's always next time. 
> 
>  
> 
> [ Vote for the next story! ](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://www.poll-maker.com/poll536176x07184dC3-23)

 "All I'm saying is Poe, Finn, Rey, three-way. There's no way you could come out that movie thinking anything else."

"Hey, if Disney has the balls to do it, I'd like to see it."

Carmilla has a lot of Star Wars opinions and Kate, try as she might, can't really muster up much care. She agrees just because Carmilla's saying it, though she can see that relationship happening. Over the forced watch of the previous six movies, she remembers liking Han and Leia and that happened, so maybe.

Thankfully, there's a reprieve when Kate sees her friend, America Chavez, flying. Normally, she'd just internally go, "oh, there's America, I wonder where she's going?" and move on, but she has to interrupt Carmilla's nerdfest somehow.

"Hey, enough Stars Trick or whatever. Who do you think would win in a fight between Lyra and America."

"Lyra," Carmilla answers. "Like, she punked the Osborn's Avengers a while back. I don't know about America, but I'm sure she didn't do that."

"I don't think so. America's a human tank _and_ she can fly."

"--Hey, why don't we see?"

Kate's eyes widen in surprise and then narrow in agreement. "Bet money?"

"Fifteen bucks say Lyra rips America's panties right off."

"Shake on it."

The two girls shake on it, completely unaware (or uncaring) that this can backfire spectacularly. It will (spoiler alert), but that's not going to happen now.

Their plan is simple: Lyra owes Kate a favor because the latter betrayed Carmilla to her. It was a calculated move; it's just to exploit Lyra's honor and get her one day for something. Carmilla already put forth the idea to make her stand still so they could dunk on her.

Cashing on that favor, Kate would give America a wedgie and then run like hell, making Lyra protect her from revenge. Carmilla'd do what she does best and talk shit, sparking a fight.

America's never expecting it -- she made her point to Kate a while ago, so it's easy enough to sneak up on her.

"Hey, America?" Kate says, walking up behind America, who's looking over the rooftop at some chocolate bar she just dropped.

"Que paso, princess?"

"Do you know what time it is?"

"Like 12:45. Don't you have a -- ow!"

Kate reaches into America's jean shorts and emerges with the blue waistband of some star-spangled panties, quite literally as the stripes are on the butt and a star in the front.

"It's wedgie time!" Kate yells, pulling up to America's midback and then darting away as fast as she possibly can.

America stops to adjust her underwear, her blood pressure rising too high. Angered, she chases after Kate first on foot until she just starts flying she's moving so fast. Kate's already inside the building, jumping down staircases until she reaches Carmilla's apartment, where the two sisters, Carmilla & Lyra, are watching another Almodovar movie.

Out of breath, she makes one more desperate burst, positioning herself behind Lyra, who stands when Kate comes in.

"Are you alright, Kate?" Lyra asks, concerned. "What are you running from?"

"Princess!" America yells, entering the room. "Where are you?"

Lyra tenses up, anticipating a fight, until she recognizes America from Jen's new team. She grabs Kate from behind her and holds her up by the scruff of her shirt. "Here she is."

"Lyra! Protect me! You promised!"

"I never promised that. Here, America, she's yours."

Carmilla clears her throat before the two can complete the switch, and Lyra turns to face her, turning her back to America in the process. "Remember when you had her betray me for your petty revenge scheme? You owe her, Lyra."

"No, I -- America!" Lyra yells, her yellow boyshorts being rocketed out of her jeans by America's strength, making her drop Kate.

"Que? Tú eres su protector, ¿verdad?"

"¡No! Le _mentí_ a ella!"

Carmilla snorts, though Kate looks at her, confused. "Dude, she lied to you," she explains. "I didn't know Lyra could do that."

America let's go when she hears that, some of her anger disappearing to be replaced by regret. "Lo siento, Lyra. Kate y sus estúpidas 'wedgies' me cabrean."

"Entiendo, América," Lyra says, fixing her underwear. She pounces on America, having far more experience at these things than her. "Pero _I am getting you back._ "

Lyra's able to push America's face into the ground and sit on her back, reaching into her shorts and pulling up with some serious strength.  

America doesn't yelp (Kate's very sure she can't make that sound) but she groans loudly.

"Lyra! Let go!" she demands.

Lyra lets the underwear snap back and gets off America. "We're even."

America sighs and stuffs her underwear back in her shorts. "Yeah, yeah."

Carmilla looks at Kate like she's won and the pieces start to fall together in Lyra's mind. She overheard her sister talking to the archer on the phone (Hulk senses for the win), and the green-haired little -- she mentioned a bet.

Lyra whispers something in America's ears and the two, less physically capable, girls look at each other with an increasing sense of dread.

"Carmilla," Lyra says. "Did you know the ceiling to your home is very high?"  

"So? What's that s'posed to mean?" Carmilla asks, thoroughly confused.

"It means, I've got a lot to room to fly," America answers, gripping Carmilla's leopard print bikini panties and Kate's purple running briefs and flying up, giving both girls a huge flying wedgie.

Carmilla squrims and Kate crosses her legs, both trying to find some way to alleviate their underwear going deep in them. Gravity is not fun.

"How... did you know?" Carmilla asks. She doesn't dare look at Kate because Kate's going to look at her and they're going to start commiserating. Sharing the pain of a wedgie doesn't actually make the wedgie less worse; in fact, it makes it more so.

"I have ears. I remember you were talking to Kate about a bet. You mentioned me. After what happened to Kate last time, I didn't think she'd go after America again. Really, it was kind of contrived."

"Heh, okay," Kate says. "Can you guys let us down now?"

America shrugs, that simple motion bouncing both girls and making them yelp. "What do you say, Lyra?"

"I'll come and get them." Lyra jumps up and grabs onto Carmilla's right and Kate's left leg. She's close enough to swing her body so her feet are pressed against the wall near the ceiling and then push herself off, sending her body darting to the ground.

Except, she's still holding onto Carmilla and Kate, so her descent is actually stopped by the two of them, only serving to increase the two's wedgie severely, to the point where their underwear is positioned above their head and they're about a foot closer to the ground than they were at first, the waistbands of their panties hiked up to their armpits.

The two girls scream and kick, trying to knock Lyra off, but only serving to make their already nuclear wedgie even worse.

America descends to the ground but doesn't let go of their underwear, only looking to Lyra. "This it?"

Lyra shrugs. "Do you want to go see the new Star Wars movie?"

"That's the one with that girl with the smile, right? Daisy something? She's totally hot."

Lyra nods in agreement. "Exactly. We're going then?"

"Yeah, definitely. What do we do with these two?"

"Let us go?" Kate suggests, but she's ignored.

"Hook over there," Lyra says, pointing to a hook. "Let them hang out for a while."

Carmilla and Kate groan as America flies them over to a pair of dull hooks and drops them into another hanging wedgie.  

They don't kick or scream or even really fight; their underwear's been stretched to the point where the wedgie doesn't bother them that much anymore. They still shift uncomfortably because it _is_ uncomfortable, no matter what. Carmilla tries to keep herself upright but Kate just hangs limply, accepting it.

When Lyra and America leave, arm in arm, laughing and smiling, Carmilla elbows Kate. 

"Next time, we keep those two away from each other."

"Definitely. How many hanging wedgies have you gotten now?"

"Oh, too many. This one isn't even that bad. Like, the panties are so stretched, I don't even feel it."

"Speaking of... leopard print?"

"Look, Kate, I don't profess to have much sexy underwear. Do you know how much Victoria's Secret panties cost?"

"Fair point."

Their underwear rips in about twenty minutes of the two talking about their wedgies and underwear choices but also each other's romantic life (rather, Kate's existent one and Carmilla's non-existent one), and, again, Star Wars, before plotting revenge.

In between revenge schemes, Carmilla takes the time to point out how she too likes Daisy Ridley's smile, but really, isn't that us all? 


End file.
